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Writing

Summer 2008

Thinking about Fear in late August.

Fear has always interested me quite a bit. I think this project has a lot to do with fear. As it stands, right now, I am scared to approach people to photograph them for this project. Whereas, I don't think that the image itself is what the project is really about. So let's break down the fear into smaller pieces: 

  1. I'm afraid, one, of being denied of a photograph - more in terms of an assumption made that I am doing a bad thing.

  2. I'm afraid of not knowing what I want out of the photograph.

Apparently, the people around me right now are in a drawing class, or so I've gathered. I wonder how many of them are enjoying themselves. 

You see! Immediately, my mind finds an excuse for not approaching someone, "they're in class, that wouldn't be right." "I don't have the right camera..." Bullshit. The strange part is that I can't fully understand what I'm afraid of. Failure, maybe, or rejection. However, I've been in this situation before, completed it, and felt better afterwards. Is it possible to choose a time for something based on when it feels right or doesn't? Or if you planned time for it, or didn't? I mean this can always be broken, but what is the truth in an "I'm not ready," is it even a justifiable comment? Ready for what, exactly? This is life, it's not something you have the option of preparing for. I guess the main, most reasonable argument for not talking to someone is the invasion aspect. Disrupting a possible moment with themselves. Doing this forthright would be assuming a shared moment would be more valuable. I guess this would be an example of justifying an excuse because of the simple idea of assuming something about a situation I know nothing about, whereas taking a chance removes the curiosity. Which - in most cases - the curiosity inhibits the interest. 

 

2008, ChicagoMatt Austin